My first STD was from a foam party
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
