i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
