what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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