Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
