She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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