tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
