thus making me awesome and them whores
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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