Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
