I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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