ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Duck Duck Cougar?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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