new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
