I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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