im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
not ubering you a puppy
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
