im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
