can we get nightvision for the apartment?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
