...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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