I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous