Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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