I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
