so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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