apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
