If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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