I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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