U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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