If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
