We should be called the Road Head Warriors
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
