You work out of a Hotel?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
