i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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