Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
