i'm signing you up for texting rehab
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
