Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
