it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
