he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Randomize
