Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
