you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
