You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
