i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
