I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
