Your tits are I can't wait for
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
