You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
