I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
