That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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