Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
