My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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