I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
