I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
