nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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