the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
