tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize