you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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