we're blogging at a bar
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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