Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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