My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
