we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
