I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
