wrigley field is MILF paradise
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
