Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
you made out with another girl for some wings
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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