Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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