that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
