Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
