He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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