I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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