I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize