I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
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Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
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Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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